Tom Kim

I had a conversation with the baker today. Turns out his name is Atreus. I had come around to collect my loaves, and he had not finished letting them cool. I sat at his stool, fanning myself, as he shuffled, looking for excuses to putter about. He was clearly uncomfortable. I suspect the islanders all expect me to corner then and start ranting or chanting spells or some such thing. I’m sure some of them have heard how animated I must get with my visitors, urgently railing down the street with them. But it’s all because I’m an old man — I am, by definition, un-becoming. And that is why I would just as well sit in a shady stoop and watch children sneak off with fruit from the bazaar, unable to hide their secret smiles.

Atreus is a good man. I might be cynical about how he sets aside my three loaves, anticipating my weekly visit, but I can taste that he uses the good honey in them. He is a shy man, like I am. A man who keeps his questions like a gathering of black oil in an urn.

Some people eat food so sensually, so passionately, that you yourself start to salivate, to desire to eat as they. This is not Dan.

Dan eats lecherously but without real feeling or pleasure. He stuffs his face, talking and mawing in ceaseless smacks, never pausing for a sip or even a break in the torrent of flavors muddying together on his palate. As a matter of course, Dan always orders the most expensive entrees on the menu but will plow through them as if rushing to belch. I sometimes do think he only tastes his meals in these gassy after thoughts.

Dan is not merely democratic in his tastes, he is positively post-structuralist — he appreciates no difference between an amuse bouche and fried finger food, a tough tenderloin and a feathery filet of tilapia. I correct myself — he does have some preferences, several quite obstinate ones in fact, but these verge on the perverse. He likes his calamari rubbery, his wine cloyingly sweet, his meat gray on the outside and dry and coarse on the inside. He insists on swirling pasta around his fork and then using it as a paddle to sling heapfuls into his mouth.

Dan is a douche bag of gourmet.

Nehng-myun is a cold Korean noodle soup. An ultimate summer dish that can have a bit of a kick (I like to go heavy on the hot mustard oil).

The keys to really good nehng-myun are the broth and the noodles. Proper broth requires a bit of experimentation; it’s a rough combination of beef broth, chicken broth, soy sauce, and rice wine vinegar.

The noodles are a matter of smart shopping — look for noodles that are made primarily of buckwheat flour. Lesser flours (wheat, yam, rice) should be kept secondary at best. If buckwheat is the first ingredient listed, you should be good to go.

Ingredients:

• 1 lb beef brisket or flank steak
• 1/2 an onion (optional)
• Nehng-myun noodles (look for ones with buckwheat as the primary ingredient)
• chicken broth
• soy sauce
• rice wine vinegar (you could substitute kimchi-mul for this)

Optional additions:

• cucumbers
• boiled eggs
• kimchi
• hot (mustard) dressing oil
• ice cubes

Beef broth:

1. Cut steak into large chunks
2. Boil 4 cups of water
3. Add steak and onion
4. Boil for 20 minutes, occasionally skimming off the scum at the top
5. Let cool and put into the fridge
6. Skim fat off top. Remove the beef chunks.

Assembling the nehng-myun:

1. Noodles
   • Boil water
   • Add nehng-myun noodles. These cook very quickly (about 1-2 minutes), so keep an eye on them. Once they seem limp (less than al dente), drain them and rinse them under cold water to stop them from cooking.
2. Combine in bowls roughly equal portions of beef and chicken broth. Adjust and add soy sauce and rice wine vinegar to taste.
3. Add noodles
4. Break apart the beef into bite-sized strips and add them to the broth.
5. Add cucumbers, boiled eggs, kimchi. Cucumbers can be sliced into coins or thin matchsticks. Boiled eggs can be cut into halves or thinner slices. You can sometimes specifically ask for nehng-myun kimchi, which is light and refreshing.
6. The hot dressing oil is VERY spicy. Add sparingly.
7. I like to add ice cubes to my nehng-myun to make it extra cold.

I must have been seven or eight at the time. We lived on a single story ranch home in Alexandria, VA. Lower middle class suburb. Small brick houses with yards.

I was taking a dump. It must have been urgent because I didn’t bring anything to read with me. After the initial relief, I was faced with the inevitable tedium that followed, like the antsy sit-through of a long division problem, wanting to get to the remainder after the first solved digits. I looked in trash bin for a left over newspaper — no, only tissues; I stared at the interlocking planks on the floor till my eyes crossed; I rifled through the nearby drawers of the vanity. Q-tips, disposable razors,… matches.

I struck a match and let it burn as far as I could tolerate. I then shook it out, wincing from the pain. I read in a book that Spiro Agnew, a mean bald-headed man, used to intimidate people by letting matches burn right to his fingers. I struck another one and tried again, counting down as the tiny flame licked its way down, edging into my fingertips. I shook it out again. My pinching fingers still pulsed from the heat. I stared at the scored, charred matchstick.

I tried again. Again the dancing flame leaped its way in toward my fingers. It seemed to shrink and leap, like the Chinese dragons at New Year’s. As it began to sting and sear, I shook it again, but instead of vanishing in a wisp, the flame leapt again like a pouncing predator. I cried aloud and shook the matchstick loose from its grip, letting it drop into the little waste bin beside me. The waste bin full of tissue paper.

I won two tickets to see Bug, a psychological thriller that’s been receiving some pretty good reviews. The thing is, no one I normally hang out with is really interested in seeing a “horror” or “scary” film.

So I solicit you now, dear acquaintances of the blogosphere: is there anyone out there up for a movie night with yours truly? I’d be willing to go with a group of people and just let my ticket passes lower everyone’s collective ticket price. My passes are for AMC theaters only, which would be convenient for those of you who live in or near Cherry Hill or Germantown.

SATURDAY

Artspiration! at the Sam Fleisher Museum
Free arts, crafts, workshops, and booths
719 Catharine Street, Philadelphia PA 19147

11:00 a.m. – 2:00 p.m.:
Philadelphia artists lead in-depth hour-long workshops for youth and parents in painting, printmaking, and ceramics.

1:00 p.m. – 4:00 p.m.:
Performances by Fleisher’s Cambodian Classical Dance class, Kule Mele, Roko Kawai, and Pasion y Arte.

[ADDITION:] Bloomsday at the Rosenbach

Hear James Joyce’s Ulysses being read aloud and celebrated at the Rosenbach. If you hear only one portion, it’s got to be the conclusion (around 6:30pm).
2008-2010 DeLancey Place
Rain location: First Unitarian Church of Philadelphia, 2125 Chestnut Street

Philadelphia Blogger Meetup
3:00 pm at the Ten Stone (2063 South St.)

Chat with a fun bunch of Philadelphians who happen to blog.

SUNDAY

Northern Liberties House Tour
1-5 pm starting at the 3rd Federal Bank on 2nd St.

The Northern Liberties Neighborhood Association (NLNA) is partnering with Friends of Independence National Historic Park’s 29th Philadelphia Open House Tours. This annual event showcases the city’s best historical, architectural and cultural treasures. Proceeds from this event support the Friends’ preservation and education efforts as well as the NLNA.

Verizon, PLEASE lay down some fiber optics in my neighborhood and gimme some reliable service. I am REALLY not feeling all these internet and phone drops. A little rain and you’re a hot mess.

2007 Liberty Lands Lawnchair Drive-In Schedule

DATE: June19

TIME: Dusk

LOCATION: Liberty Lands Park – 3rd and Wildey

Movie start times are approximate (based on sunset). The movies begin at DUSK. Movies are cancelled on rainy nights.

Tuesday, June 19 , 9:00 p.m. IT

(1927) Silent film star Clara Bow was the charmingly daring role model for a hole generation of Jazz Age flappers. Forever known as The ‘It’ Girl, Bow still electrifies the screen, 80 years later, in this light hearted comedy. Silent, with recorded musical accompaniment.

Tuesday, June 26 9:00 p.m. THE MUMMY

(1932) In honor of King Tut’s visit, we present the first and by far the best mummy movie. Millions spent on special effects in later remakes don’t hold a candle to Boris Karloff in a little make up and a grimly grim grimace. There will be a Tut-alicious BBQ before showtime. Braised Karnak snacks? Bloodless pharaoh brats? Seriously amazing Tut prize to be awarded to the best realized recipe, so bring it on!

Tuesday, July 3 9:00 p.m. THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH

(1964) Also known as INVASION OF THE ZOMBIES. So bad it’s fab: surrender to the delicious awfulness of a genuinely horrific bottom-of-the-bill groan fest. Atomic monsters, bikinis galore, and lots of rock and roll music by the Del Aires. In a nod to our habit of stretching the July 4th holiday over a whole week, a Zombie Walk will precede the showing, starting at the gravesites of famous Founding Fathers in Old City, and winding its way to Liberty Lands Park. Come dressed as Zombie Ben Franklin, Zombie John Afrika, Zombie Jessica Savitch, Zombie Father Devine, Zombie Ethel Barrymore!

Tuesday, July 10 9:00 p.m. THE IN-LAWS

(1979) Considered by many to be one of the funniest comedies to ever hit the screen, this cult classic stars Alan Arkin and Peter Falk in an angst drenched romp that takes off and never lets go.

Tuesday, July 17 8:45 p.m. THE ATOMIC KID

(1954) Uranium prospector Mickey Rooney is an instant celebrity after accidentally wandering close to an atomic test and living to tell the tale. Mix in Russian spies and peanut butter sandwiches, and you should expect an odd slice of post war Americana in the vein of Francis, The Talking Mule.

Tuesday, July 24 8:45 p.m. THE FABULOUS WORLD OF JULES VERNE

(1958) Czech filmmaker Karl Zeman combines live action and animation into one of the most beautifully crafted and strangely exciting visual adventures of the mid-century era. Yes, we want you to come out and enjoy cool, corny crapola like The Atomic Kid, but make sure you invite friends and family to this gem.

Tuesday, July 31 8:30 p.m. RAINBOW ‘ROUND MY SHOULDER

(1952) A gorgeous Technicolor musical vehicle for the recently departed and much beloved Frankie Laine. Music fans of all kinds should come out just to hear Ol’ Leather Lungs belt out a string of numbers and this’ll be a great opportunity to toast the passing of an old friend.

Tuesday, August 7 8:30 p.m. SON OF KONG

(1933) Yes, Son Of Kong! A worthy, charming sequel to the great King Kong. Rarely seen nowadays, most of the original cast returns to Monster Island and are surprised by the offspring of the late King. Junior is certainly easier to get along with! Same stop animation team breathes life into our oversized distant cousin. Bring the family!

Tuesday, August 14 8:30 p.m. WARGAMES

(1983) Matthew Broderick stars in this film that still defines the computer hacker genre. Nominated for three Oscars, WARGAMES still holds up as a solid teen edge drama. Fans of early 80s computer technology will find much to delight in this film, as well. Pre film music will be provided by 8-BIT technology sound stylists from around the Delaware Valley.

Tuesday, August 21 8:15 p.m. THE KID BROTHER

(1927) Simply one of the greatest silent comedies of all time, this tour de force by Harold Lloyd is a wonderful way to wrap up a great season of The Lawn Chair Drive-In!

LIBERTY LANDS MUSIC FEST AND FLEA MARKET

DATE: Saturday, June 2nd

TIME: 4pm to 10pm

LOCATION: Liberty Lands – 3rd and Wildey Streets

The Annual Northern Liberties Music Fest and Flea Market includes a day full of music, flea market, arts & crafts fair and donated Yards beer. A $10 donation is requested. Of course, we’ll need/want volunteers to help with setup, break down, and beer sales. It is a family event so bring the kids, set up with chairs and blankets and enjoy a wonderful event in a great neighborhood. Proceeds benefit the Northern Liberties Neighbors Association.

4:30-5:00 Discount Heroes
5:15-5:45 Mellow Veneer
6:00-6:30 Shadow Man
6:45-7:15 Sunsplit
7:30-8:00 Slo Mo
8:15-8:45 Asteroid #4
9:00-9:30 Black Landlord ***